Alzheimer's and Family Dynamics

There has been one thing that I have noticed time and time again is when family members disagree with the plan of care.

Way back, when Mom or Dad, were in full congnition of their facilties, they made a decision on whom they wanted to take care of their affairs. It was not based on who they liked the best, but who they thought would make the best health care decision for them. When the time comes, to start using it, all of a sudden the wraths of fury come out and the family members start coming down on the one in "charge".

They have NO idea, how much time and effort, is involved. How much responsibility is involved, but they certainly never agree on what the one in charge is doing. Does this affect Mom or Dad? YOU BET!! Some of them get down right nasty. The tension is High. The air is so thick you can cut it with a knife. They think they are only hurting their sibling...Well let me tell you.....

Mom, Dad, whomever it is, they may not be able to completely tell you what is going on, they can not tell you the words they want to say, but watch how they react to all of you. Are they getting anxious? Nervous? Not eating? Crying? Trying to call the police department? Not sleeping? Yelling at you for simple things? Is there memory going away faster and faster? These are all stressors that occur.

Families have to be fully aware that inside, there is alot of that person and they understand alot of what is going on. They may not be able to express it like you or I, but it will come out one way or another.

If this is happening to you, please seek professional help, join a group, go to the Alzheimer's Website they have many places to help you. Do not let this overwhelm you and break up the family. It is easy to judge the other person, when you are not the primary caregiver with all the responsibility.

REMEMBER...CELEBRATE EACH RESIDENT'S LIFE!